How To Put A Baby To Sleep – And Why Sleep Matters At Every Age
- kath327
- 3 days ago
- 6 min read
In this blog, I’ll walk you through:
How to put a baby to sleep gently (without “cry it out”)
How sleep challenges change with age – baby, toddler and school‑age
Why sleep is foundational for behaviour, emotions and learning
What your child needs from you at any age when sleep is hard
Recently I ran a really lovely online masterclass for a private school in Bath, all about children’s sleep. It was busy, full of questions, and what really struck me was the age range of parents who came along.
We’re talking everything from tiny 3‑month‑olds right up to 14‑year‑olds.
Most people think “sleep problems” are just about babies and toddlers – night feeds, night wakings, and all the classic newborn exhaustion. But that masterclass was a powerful reminder of something I see every day in my work as a Sleep Nanny®:
Sleep is not just a baby issue.
Sleep is a lifelong skill.
And the way we support sleep in the early years can shape how our children sleep, feel and cope right through school and into adulthood.
Why Sleep Is So Important For Babies, Children and Parents
When we talk about how to put a baby to sleep, it’s easy to zoom in on the practical bits:
What time should bedtime be?
How dark should the room be?
How many naps should they have?
All of those things matter. But underneath the baby sleep routine and the timings, there’s something much bigger going on:
Sleep is completely foundational to our children’s wellbeing.
Good sleep supports:
Brain development
Concentration and learning
Emotional regulation (those big feelings!)
Friendships and social skills
Physical health and immune function
And that doesn’t suddenly stop when they turn one, or start school, or hit the teenage years. Sleep is something we need to keep paying attention to, adjusting and supporting as our children grow.
It’s also a life skill. Teaching our children healthy sleep habits – gently and age‑appropriately – is a gift they’ll carry into adult life.
How To Put A Baby To Sleep: Gentle, Evidence‑Based Basics
If you’re in the thick of baby sleep problems – frequent night wakings, short naps, or a baby who will only sleep on you – you’re not alone.
Here are some gentle, evidence‑based foundations for how to get a baby to sleep:
1. Create a calm, predictable bedtime routine
A simple bedtime routine for babies might include:
A warm bath or wash
Dim lights and quiet, calm voices
Pyjamas and sleep sack
A feed
A cuddle and a short song or story
Doing the same steps in the same order each night helps your baby’s brain recognise: “Oh, it’s sleep time now.”
2. Watch awake windows and sleepy cues
Over‑tired babies often find it harder to fall asleep. Watching:
Age‑appropriate awake windows- (click here to get a free download on this)
Sleepy signs like zoning out, rubbing eyes, turning away
…can help you time naps and bedtime so you’re not battling overtiredness.
3. Support, then gently reduce sleep crutches
It’s completely normal to feed, rock or cuddle your baby to sleep, especially in the early months. Over time, you can gently:
Shorten the rocking
Put them down drowsy but awake
Offer more hands‑on reassurance in the cot
The goal isn’t to leave them to cry. It’s to help them learn to fall asleep with you as a calm, consistent presence.
How Sleep Challenges Change With Age
One of the reasons parents feel so stuck is that they’re often trying to use “baby sleep” strategies with school‑age children, or expecting a toddler to sleep like a newborn. The approach has to change as they grow.
For babies, the main focus is on:
Establishing a predictable baby sleep schedule
Helping them learn the skill of falling asleep without needing you every single time
Knowing when it’s age‑appropriate to reduce or remove night feeds
Creating a calm, consistent baby bedtime routine
A gentle, evidence‑based approach means:
No “cry it out”
Responding to their needs so they feel safe
Gradually reducing sleep crutches so they can start to settle themselves, knowing you’re close by
When toddlers move into big beds or start pushing boundaries, everything can change again.
This is where you might see:
Bedtime battles
Endless requests for “one more story” or “one more drink”
Getting out of bed repeatedly
Naps becoming a struggle
Here, the approach is very different to a 5‑month‑old. Toddlers need:
Clear, calm, consistent boundaries around bedtime
A simple, predictable toddler bedtime routine
Lots of connection before bed so they don’t need to seek it through stalling tactics
Gentle but firm follow‑through when they test limits (which is normal and expected)
For many of the parents at my Bath masterclass, the main issues were with school‑age children. Things like:
Children taking up to three hours to fall asleep
Nightmares and night‑time anxieties
Not wanting to miss out on later bedtimes
Struggling to switch off after busy days
At this age, sleep is impacted by:
Worries about school, friendships or performance
Overstimulation from screens and activities
Not enough wind‑down time before bed
A lack of understanding about why sleep matters
The response here needs to be more about:
Emotional support and reassurance
Age‑appropriate conversations about the importance of sleep
Calming, screen‑free wind‑down routines
Consistent bedtimes, even when they push for “just a bit later”
What Your Child Needs From You When Sleep Is Hard
Whatever your child’s age, if they’re struggling with sleep, they need one key thing from you:
A response.
That doesn’t mean you have to:
Lie with them all night
Give up all boundaries
Or “mollycoddle” them
It means:
Being their safe space
Showing them you’re there – going to them when they’re little, or being available for them to come to you when they’re older
Responding calmly and consistently, rather than ignoring or hoping it will just “sort itself out”
That sense of safety and calm is what allows children to:
Settle to sleep without crashing from sheer exhaustion
Get deeper, better‑quality sleep
Have fewer night wakings and less disturbed nights
Gentle sleep coaching is not about forcing children to sleep. It’s about giving them the environment, the skills and the emotional safety they need to sleep well.
Teaching Children Why Sleep Is Important (By Age)
We don’t need to sit a 5‑month‑old down and explain the science of sleep! But as children grow, it’s really helpful to talk about why sleep is important in a way they can understand.
With school‑age children you might say:
“Sleep helps your brain remember what you learned today.”
“Sleep is like charging your batteries so you can run, play and concentrate tomorrow.”
“When we don’t get enough sleep, it’s harder to manage big feelings.”
Schools are becoming more and more aware of this too. I’m going into far more schools now than when I started four years ago, and it’s wonderful to see sleep being taken seriously as part of children’s wellbeing and learning.
Because when children are well‑rested, they’re better able to:
Concentrate in class
Manage their emotions (most of the time – they’re still children!)
Build friendships
Stay healthy and resilient
Sleep really does underpin everything.
There’s No One‑Size‑Fits‑All Sleep Solution
One of the most important things I want parents to hear is this:
There is no one‑size‑fits‑all solution for sleep.
Sleep is ever‑changing. What worked at 6 months may not work at 2 years. What your 4‑year‑old needs will be different to what your 10‑year‑old needs.
That’s why, when I work with families, I always start with:
Your child’s age
Their developmental stage
What’s happening in their world right now
Your parenting style and what feels right for you
From there, we can understand what’s going on and create a gentle, tailored sleep plan that actually works for your family.
Struggling With Your Baby or Child’s Sleep? Here’s Your Next Step
If you’re reading this thinking:
“My baby still wakes multiple times a night.”
“My toddler’s bedtime takes hours and I’m exhausted.”
“My older child is anxious at night and I don’t know how to help.”
You’re not alone – and you don’t have to figure it out by yourself.
I specialise in gentle, evidence‑based sleep support for babies and children from newborn to 10 years, with personalised plans that fit your child and your family.
Sleep is not a luxury. It’s a foundational need – for your child and for you. And with the right support, it absolutely can get better.
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