How to Get My Baby to Sleep (Without Cry-It-Out): A Gentle, Evidence-Based Plan for Better Nights

If you’re here because you’ve been Googling “how to get my baby to sleep” at 2am, you’re not alone. When you’re running on broken sleep, everything feels louder: the monitor crackles, the clock ticks, your mind spirals. The good news? There are practical, gentle, evidence-based steps you can take to help your baby sleep more calmly and more consistently, without leaving them to cry it out.

I’m Kath Garwood, a Certified Sleep Nanny® Partner and sleep consultant. I’ve supported thousands of families across the baby and child sleep stages using responsive, caring approaches that protect attachment and work with your baby’s development.

This guide will walk you through the foundations of baby sleep: expectations, timing, routines, environment, and gentle independence, so you can stop guessing and start seeing progress.

First: what does “sleeping through the night” actually mean? And how can I get my baby to sleep?

When parents search how to get my baby to sleep through the night, they usually mean: “How can we all get enough rest without constant wake-ups?”

Here’s the key: night waking is normal at every age, including adulthood. The difference is that adults typically roll over and drift back into the next sleep cycle without fully waking or needing help. Babies often haven’t learned that skill yet. That’s not a failure—it’s a developmental stage.

So the goal isn’t “never wake.” The goal is to support your baby to:

• Get the right amount of sleep across 24 hours

• Settle more easily at bedtime

• Link sleep cycles more smoothly

• Need less input to resettle (in a gradual, responsive way)

If you want a deeper dive into what’s normal by age, start with your own baseline and your baby’s temperament—because no two babies sleep the same.

Step 1: Check timing (overtired vs undertired)

If you’re wondering how to get my baby to sleep, timing is usually the first lever to pull.

Babies who are awake too long can become overtired. When overtiredness builds, sleep can become more fragmented. You might see:

• More frequent night waking

• Bedtime battles

• Early morning waking

• Short naps

• Difficulty linking sleep cycles

That’s because a big build-up of sleep pressure can drive higher stress hormones, making it harder for your baby to settle and stay settled.

Use wake windows as a starting point

Wake windows are a helpful guide for how long your baby can comfortably stay awake between sleeps. They’re not a strict rule, but they are a strong starting point.

During each wake window, look for a simple rhythm:

• Feed

• Play

• Wind down

• Sleep

If your baby is routinely staying awake far longer than expected for their age, or wake windows are wildly inconsistent day to day, sleep can become more unsettled.

Important note: If your baby is under 4 months, sleep is often more haphazard and changeable. This article is most useful for babies around 18 weeks+ (roughly 4 months and up), when many are developmentally ready for a little more structure.

If you’d like a wake window chart, you can request my free one (and I’ll send it over).

Step 2: Build a bedtime routine that actually works

A consistent bedtime routine is one of the most effective answers to how to get my baby to sleep, because it reduces guesswork and helps your baby’s body recognise the cues for sleep.

Keep it under 40 minutes

Aim for a routine that’s soothing, predictable, and not too long. A good routine often includes:

• A quick wash or bath (not essential every night)

• Pyjamas / sleep sack

• Milk feed

• Connection time (cuddles, story, song)

Flexibility matters too. If naps have been short or the day has been chaotic, it’s okay to bring bedtime forward.

Do the same steps in the same order

This is a big one.

If one night it’s pyjamas → story → milk, and the next night it’s milk → pyjamas → song, your baby can’t predict what’s coming. Predictability supports calm.

When the steps happen in the same order each night, your baby starts to anticipate sleep. That anticipation supports melatonin production and helps bedtime feel safer and smoother.

If you want help tightening up your routine, you might find this useful:

• Internal link: https://www.sleepeasyconsult.com (link to your “Work With Me” / “Sleep Support Packages” page)

Step 3: Optimise the sleep environment (and keep it safe)

When parents ask how to get my baby to sleep, they often focus on what they’re doing: rocking, feeding, patting, when the environment is quietly doing a lot of heavy lifting.

Consider:

• Darkness: Is the room dark enough to support melatonin?

• White noise: Optional, but can help mask household sounds and support settling.

• Temperature: Comfortable and consistent.

• Sleep space: Safe, clear, and age-appropriate.

For safe sleep guidance, I always recommend the Lullaby Trust.

• https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/

(If you’re interested, we also offer a safe sleep course that raises money for the Lullaby Trust’s work.)

Step 4: If you’ve done the foundations… look for the “sleep crutch”

If timing is appropriate, the routine is consistent, and the environment is supportive—but you’re still stuck with frequent wake-ups, split nights, or long resettles—then we usually need to look at how your baby is falling asleep.

Many babies rely on a sleep association (sometimes called a “sleep crutch”) such as:

• Feeding to sleep

• Rocking to sleep

• Being held to sleep

• Hair stroking

• Dummy replacement all night

None of these are “wrong.” They’re often loving, responsive tools that work brilliantly… until they stop working.

A sleep association becomes a problem when your baby needs the same input at every wake-up to get back to sleep.

Step 5: Create a gentle plan for building sleep independence

This is where a lot of parents feel stuck—because they assume the only option is to go cold turkey.

It isn’t.

Gentle sleep coaching is about:

• Keeping your baby supported

• Making gradual changes

• Staying consistent with your response

• Allowing time for adjustment

Plan your response (and keep it consistent)

If you change your approach every night, your baby can’t learn what to expect.

Pick a plan you can commit to for at least several days. Your plan should reflect:

• Your baby’s age and temperament

• Feeding needs

• Your parenting values

• Your capacity (because you matter too)

Feed a hungry baby (always)

If your baby needs feeds overnight, that takes priority.

But if your baby is waking every hour to feed for 20 minutes, then taking another 20 minutes to resettle, it’s worth asking:

• Are they genuinely hungry each time?

• Or is feeding the main way they know how to fall back asleep?

Sometimes it’s both. And this is where a deeper, personalised assessment helps.

Step 6: Expect progress, not perfection

If you’re searching how to get my baby to sleep, you probably want a quick fix.

I get it.

But sustainable sleep changes usually happen through micro-steps: small, consistent shifts that build confidence for you and security for your baby.

Change takes time. The aim is:

• Supported settling

• Secure attachment

• A calmer bedtime

• More rest for the whole family

When to get extra support

If you suspect illness, reflux, or a medical concern, speak to your GP or health visitor.

If it’s more about sleep structure, routines, night waking patterns, or how to reduce sleep associations gently, that’s exactly what I help with.

You can:

• Start with a free consultation call

• Or email with a quick question

https://www.sleepeasyconsult.com (Free consultation / booking page)

https://www.sleepeasyconsult.com (Free baby sleep guide / resources page)

Final thoughts: there is a way to get your baby to sleep

If you’re in the thick of it right now, please hear this: you’re not doing anything wrong. Baby sleep is complex, and it changes constantly.

But when you focus on the foundations—timing, routine, environment—and then gently address the root cause of waking (sleep associations, feeding patterns, overtiredness), you can absolutely move toward calmer nights.

If you’d like personalised help, reach out and we’ll make a plan that fits your baby and your family.